nostalgic

I know its dumb to bring up the past but it was so unintentional. Me and my mum, having h2h and thats when it hit me.
well, usual, update my my bout my life, friends but never about love life. However, this time i actually gave it a shot and shared with her my ups and downs About M. I know its sOOO stupid to do so, but i just had to, i told her from the time we met, we texted, we went out for dates, our similariies, how cute he is, and of course to the point where it lead to nothingness which fall into the hands of Her....

come to think bout it,im still shocked that i just let it pass like that? i mean, i just didnt do much, just went home and cried my heart out due to the heartache caused by TWO people i treasure so much... as the months went by, it felt better, things eventually healed. However, only today im startin to live in all over again...

but i do i admit i was to blamed to, i just let it slipped of my fingers just like that, i dint seize the opportunity lasts.. so idk whether to blame me, her, or him.
its something i still ponder about up till this day. Its definately somthing i can nvr forget.........

Taking a break now from revising SS.. gosh these few days i've been doing nothing but ss. how, how fun -.- . hahaha anw N lvl havent even started and im thinking of the thing im gonna do and need to do after Ns.. hahah so much for being well prepared.. hehe but HELLLO im so fucking stress lah. this is pissing me off, and studying is annoying, firstly its so fucking boring, secondly, i'll end up eating all the junk food which will obviously add more fats into my things, tummy and arms. argghh i hate me life noow :(

anw, i've been watching michelle phan's videos. and omg i think shes really sweet and prety. Not to mention her makeups are soooo gorgeous all the designer brushes and stuff..after watching her videos i just wna head down to sephora and buy the whole shop lah plz ( like as if i can) hahaha! but still, ive picked up many makeup tricks from her, and ive been buying some of her products.. ^^ shes too gifted lah.. hehe.

OH AND BTW, im suddenly into kpop now. idk why either. i think its cause i like prettyboys? yes boys who have girly features but still manly. heehh my fav sort of men.. esp super junior. THEY LIKE SEKSI ONLY. AHAHA i wana buy their album since heechul and tuek are going for NS soon. NOOO, suju wont be a perfect grp no more :( but nevertheless, i'll still love them like a fat kid loves cake <3<3<3. but still sad, no more lady heehee and all. ohwell, right now all they need is support and encouragement from their fans not grieve! :)

Insomnia

Its currently 3.17am and im still awake. yes n lvl ss is in 2 days time, i should be sleeping now getting enough rest for tmr to start mugging again but noo im up .. doing exactly Nothing. yes nothing. what a complete waste of time. Well, i should be at Nat's house but nooo apparently im imprisoned in my own house till Ns are done. yes pity me loads. hhahaha .

Oh and recently ___ has been trying to get close to me i can sense it.. its pretty obvious. yes you're really nice and all and i appreciate you really being sweet and caring but the truth is, i dont really see this relationship leading to anywhere.. its just there stagnant.. i guess this proves that i really do not share the same feelings you feel about me. Unfortunately me being the type of person who hates breaking hearts, just refuse to lead you to the right direction but lead you to a direction where your hopes is really as high as your ego.

In the End, you'll be the one hurting yet again and here am i feeling guilty wishing i should have told earlier. But as i said before, i do not like breaking hearts, neither do i like being cold to others, if being friendly means flirting to you than i guess you're wrong. So in a way, dont Blame me for leading you in the wrong direction, cuz you were the one who chosed to believe. I just hope one day you'll see where im coming from and understand. :)

spending my time studying ss and enjoying being at home today isnt such a bad idea at all. gave school a miss today as i dont really see a point in going to school on teachers day,.. anw, i woke up in a good mood today this is so strange as i always wake up and moody n all, i think its cause of that text i received. wow its been months since we've met, and yet you still think of me at times.. really feel appreciated nowadays.. so with my good mood today i shall use it to study hard!! for my n on monday (fuck) hehee

nat's 16

So recently it was Nat's birthday. Shes so sweet to book a really pretty hotel for all of us to party in. well after travelling by myself to sentosa, i got lost trying to find my way to the damn hotel. but luckily, i found yasmyn, my, etc which was otw, so i guessed they were my life savers if not i might be wandering like a retard. Okay practicaly we had dinner, made one hell of a racket ( prolly disturbed the whole level), partied HARD till some of us died. AHAHAHA. well it was an all girls party, so i guess it safe.. i think?!! but i have to admit, all girls parties seems more fun? hahaha.

leading to nowhere

Okay maybe i should start blogging again. however, i dont really see a point in doing so cuz no one would actually read my blog. but sometimes i just need to spill out everyting. and i guess i dont really have a particular person i can share my problems with? therefore, i turn to my blog. i know how pathetic. like as if a blog could calm me down and advice me about life.

OMFG donghae and ryewook is so mfking gorgeous! Super good looking men. They are alll mine!!!!! I'm soo in love with my fish and wookie. Hahahah! Im done with Singaporean men like seriously, they are sooo boring. I mean Koreans are plastic(some) but they are hot.. So why not right??? Heh ;))